Gluten-I hate you so!

Had my 2nd accidental glutening tonight. I'm so frustrated because I did it to myself AGAIN!!

Whenever someone else is cooking something or eating something with gluten in it I'm so paranoid & pester them constantly about not cross contaminating. Last night my parents came over, my mom helped decorate the tree & turned our left over turkey into taco meat. She was eating Nacho Cheese Dorritos & giving some to my son & I kept pestering her about washing her hands (they have gluten in them) & she kept telling me "Yes dear, I know what I'm doing".

Then I do it to myself!!! :( What kind of gluten free person am I? LOL Last time it was dipping in the mayo jar. This time? We went to In & Out for dinner & I was through eating & we were shifting things around on the table to make more room. Jon put his soda closer to me & not even realizing what I did until I tasted it, I picked up his soda & took a drink! I was instantly upset & afraid I had just messed myself up.

If you didn't think dipping in the mayo jar would really matter then you really wouldn't think that drinking after someone who was eating gluten would matter. I was really hoping that it wouldn't matter either. I actually thought maybe I had gotten away with it but my mood never improved & within the last 20min my stomach started hurting. It's not so bad thankfully, at least not yet. I just hope that this is the worse it gets. I could be paying for it all the way through tomorrow.

*Sigh* I think this is so much more upsetting for me because we're hoping to get pregnant soon and if & when that happens I have to be extra, extra careful. From what I've put together from information on the Celiac Forum located on www.celiac.com it seems that if women have fertility problems from Celiac Disease it's usually one way or another. Either they have trouble getting pregnant or they can get pregnant but miscarry. I haven't been able to find much actual research on it but the theory seems to be that when gluten is ingested during pregnancy the body attacks the placenta. Obviously I didn't appear to have any problems caused by gluten during my 1st pregnancy (at least not as far as we know), but I did have some heart issues at the end. Celiac Disease effects sooo many things in your body with so many people, it's hard to always know (especially after the fact) what was caused by Celiac & what wasn't. The point is that no matter what might happen, just knowing what could happen is reason enough to try & be extra vigilant. One single gluten mistake while pregnant shouldn't cause major harm but it's not a chance I want to take.

So today makes day 27 since starting to go gluten free. Those first 3 days mistakes were made from not reading labels but we learned from those mistakes. I had 7 days completely gluten free until on day 11 I dipped in the mayo jar. Since that day I went over 2 weeks this time completely gluten free. I have so many mixed emotions right now. I am so impressed & proud of myself for going that long gluten free but so upset & disappointed with myself for being the cause of failure today.

Gah! But, no matter, about my mistakes, they truly are something to learn from. I am learning each time & it seems like even though I keep taking steps backward, each time I move forward I am making more progress. This is very important for me. Unfortunately I don't deal well with failure, I have more of a tendency to quit something if I'm not good at it but this is not something I can just quit. This is my life, this is my health. I am not giving up. I just started on my journey & I am not going to let mistakes get me down.

Phew! Thank goodness for writing. I was actually pretty down when I started writing this but I am feeling better now. I am ready to go to bed, get some rest, get up & enjoy my tomorrow, gluten effects or no :)