Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Am I Overly Ambitious?

I was just sitting here thinking of all the things that I have left to do & all the things that I have already gotten done & I have to wonder if I'm just being overly ambitious. Am I giving myself too big of a list of things to do & pushing myself so hard to try to get them done right away that I burn myself out?

When Keegan started going to play group I think I just spent the first week enjoying the quiet & being lazy. I caught up on some TV shows & spent pretty much the whole time online aside from some basic kitchen/laundry duties.

At the end of that week I think is when I made myself a to do list. Tuesday became cleaning day. It's kind of embarrassing to say but my house went from being mopped maybe 2 or 3 times a year to having been mopped at least 3 times in this last month. I think I've mopped 6 or 7 times since he started going to play group. I really, really did not want to mop this week & the floor wasn't that bad. As I was sweeping the kitchen floor I thought I could probably get away with not mopping until I found something stuck to the floor in 2 places. I cursed my new found need for cleanliness & went & got the mop out. It went from me just planning to sweep the kitchen to me sweeping & mopping ALL the floors again.

I've already resigned myself to the fact that the entire house has to be vacuumed every week. I try not to freak out when first thing Friday morning Keegan ALWAYS gets some sort of food/crumb mess on the floor. 

My Tuesdays also involve trying to reclaim the kitchen. Why do I say reclaim? Because it never fails that by time the weekend is over if I haven't already gotten to it on Monday over half of the island is covered with stuff. As luck would have it none of our family tends to visit until Friday or the weekend & usually by that point you wouldn't know that I had the house cleaned just a day or two prior.

Aside from Tuesday's ritual floor cleaning & reclaiming of the kitchen there isn't usually many house chores to be done. There's the basic kitchen maintenance each day & laundry if it needs to be done but the problem comes from all the other things I have gotten myself into.

.A few months ago I saw this video on how to make resin jewelry & decided to give it a go. Now I'm slightly obsessed. I have claimed Keegan's art table as my own & have 3 or 4 different boxes piled with my different jewelry making supplies. Unfortunately I can't actually create or sand any of the pieces in the house or really even do much but maybe sand when Keegan's around. He's a typical kid in that he can't leave anything alone, so unless I sneak out into the garage when he's home I don't get to cast anything. I have so many plans & ideas & I keep finding myself getting very frustrated because it takes me so long to get anything done since I'm generally confined to a 3 day window for casting, but I'm determined so I keep trudging on.

In my new found jewelry making obsession I have slacked off on several things. I have kind of left my couponing by the wayside but I have been doing my best to still keep plugging along on my blog. If nothing else it's good therapy for me when I write my essays like this one haha.

The main computer related thing that I have been keeping up with is Swagbucks. It's been helping me feed my jewelry making obsession. I can usually cash out for a $5 Amazon gift code once a week, sometimes more often if I'm really lucky. Right now it's burning a hole in my pocket because I have $15 in codes that have come in & another $15 that I'm waiting for, plus $10 from Superpoints that I'm sitting on & waiting for another $25 from one of the survey panels I'm on. Usually as soon as I have $25 or close to it in codes it's gone but I'm trying to hold out for as much of it to come in as possible because I'm planning to spend at least $75 on 1 item that I need.

I feel like I have myself spread in a million directions & I'm trying to cram all or most of this stuff into 3 days a week. I felt really bad & guilty last week when I finally got paid & started going through the ads & my giant stack of coupons. I let myself get so far behind that I had to throw half of the coupons away when I know I could & would have used some of them. I mean, you have to have money to spend it whether you have a coupon or not but I can't help but think that those last two weeks waiting on pay day might not have been so desperate had I not slacked off when I did. I have been telling myself for over a month that I will get time soon to get organized. I will make time soon. If I don't do it this week I really am hoping to get it done within a week after my surgery. I think I'm going to try to take the week after my surgery off. The bare minimum of housework if any & just spend most or all of my time resting & vegetating on the couch. I can easily clip & organize my coupons then. *chants* I know I can, I know I can.

My other guilt is in regards to my husband's business. Due to my being home now I really pushed him into advertising & trying to actually make some money from the business other than it just funding the new toy for him here & there. I went all gung-ho & did a whole bunch of stuff helping push business & then mostly stepped back. There's an event coming up in less than a month & I'm supposed to be helping getting some flyers, etc put together & some new items listed & priced. I finally started trying to work on some of that stuff yesterday. I think I have 1 photo on the flyer so far haha.

I used to work at my old job very well under pressure. Unless I had a ton of work & a deadline I was bored. When I had a huge project & a deadline I was like a machine. I actually miss part of my job sometimes. Close to half the year I worked my butt off on the biggest most important project & though I'd get frustrated or stressed at times it fueled me. It kept me going. Now that I've been home for over a year I'm finding that I don't like deadlines or being under pressure. It just causes me stress that makes me bitchy haha.

I'm hoping that if I can get enough stuff done with my resin that eventually maybe I can take Wednesdays off from casting & use that day to get up to date on the new weeks coupons (once I get organized to begin with). Then whatever time is left in that day I can do a mixture of line stuff & maybe some sanding.

I don't know. Eventually I'm hoping it all works out & I get a somewhat better schedule going. Usually by time Friday rolls around I'm so burnt out that I don't want to move. Here's hoping for a better balance because I just can't see myself not doing any of these things.

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